Medical Funnies
It is my intention to add this page for light humor,
though I know all to well how serious transplant matters are so I hope this
page maybe brings a little smile to some ones face. All
jokes are PG....
If you find any medical funnies, including jokes,
sayings, pictures please don't hesitate to email them to me.
Need A Heart Transplant
An elderly patient needed a heart transplant
and discussed his options with his doctor.
The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one you
want to use. One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile
accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked
and who died in his private plane. The third is an attorney who just died
after practicing law for 30 years.”
“I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,” said the patient.
After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had
chosen the donor he did.
“It was easy,” the patient replied. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t
been used.”
Get
a heart transplant
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white
coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart
transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone.
Three Hearts
A man who was having
heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally,
the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and
asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money
was no object.
"I do have three
hearts," said the doctor. "The first is from an 18-year old kid,
non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the
swimming pool and died. It's ,000. The second is from a marathon runner, 25
years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's ,000. The
third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover. It's ,000."
"Hey, why is that
heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!"
"Yes, but it's from a lawyer. It's never
been used
Liver Transplant
The patient demanded, "Doc, I just must have a liver transplant, a
kidney transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung transplant, and a heart
transplant."
"WHAT?" yelled the doctor. "Tell me, exactly why you think
you need all these transplants."
"Well," explained the patient, "my boss told me that I needed
to get reorganized." one."
Medical
bloopers
An
organ cooler was delivered to the O. R., ready for immediate transplant,
recipient, already be prepped and ready, The surgeon turned around to retrieve
organ from cooler.....NO ORGAN !!!....only Pepsi cola and sandwiches
!!.....The wrong cooler had been delivered from the shuttle jet at the
airport. They ambulance drivers had delivered the Pilot's lunch, by mistake…
(Sent by Bob Pitcock Texas USA)
The Sawmill and the Plastic bag
Two
young men were working in the sawmill when Jack accidentally cut his arm off. As
quick as lightning his mate, Pete, put
it in a plastic bag and rushed them both to hospital.
After
four hours the brilliant surgeon had sewn the arm back on and within three
months Jack was as good as new.
That
winter Jack was so cold, his concentration slipped and he cut off his right
leg.
Quick
as a flash Pete wrapped the leg in a plastic bag and rushed them both to
hospital.
Although
the operation was more difficult, the surgeon, once again miraculously
attached the leg back to Jack’s body and after six months he had recovered.
The
months went by until one day Jack fell asleep and had his head cut off. Ready
for every emergency, Pete got the head and put it in a plastic bag and rushed
them both to hospital.
“This
is a very difficult operation” the surgeon explained “It’s touch and
go.”
He
told Pete to come back the following morning to see how things were
progressing.
The
next day came and Pete arrived at the hospital and was confronted by a very
serious looking surgeon…
“
I’m sorry your friend didn’t make it.”
Grief
stricken Pete replied,
“
I know you did all you could doc, but you did warn me it might not work”.
The
surgeon swiftly replied,
“
Oh it wasn’t the operation, that was successful, Jack had suffocated in the
plastic bag…
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